Parenting is not an easy job. It is a lifelong commitment that can lead to scars from both child and parent if not taken seriously. At the heart of it, parenting is knowing you aren’t a superhero, but often playing the role anyway. You do whatever it takes to keep your children happy, healthy, and smiling. Giving them lavish Christmas presents is the ultimate expression of this, and we have a list of the best gifts for every budget here!
However, as many parents know, children can be quite rambunctious! They sometimes fall on their face, literally, and it leaves physical and emotional damage. The balance of parenthood is teaching them how to love themselves despite their shortcomings, and showing them that they can grow in spite of any possible setbacks.
But, what about the days where they pick up the worst traits of humanity? Lying, stealing, and many other forms of sin. Should they still be rewarded for their failed efforts to make the nice list during the holidays?
Christmas Presents: To Gift or not to Gift?
In my opinion, the answer is more complex than many would think. I believe that mistakes such as these, even the more mischievous ones, deserve some form of punishment. However, removing the essence and spirit of Christmas presents over a lapse of judgement, which is normal in both children and adults, shouldn’t result in the loss of this holiday tradition. Rather than not buying anything at all, believe that your children will eventually turn it around! If you’ve raised them right, despite their shortcomings, they will eventually be able to make better decisions. You have to be able to place yourself in their shoes, and also understand that their brains are still developing.
The Truth of the Brain
In fact, these small minds don’t stop growing until about 24-25. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, younger people are more susceptible to, “risky behaviors” due to the lack of development of the prefrontal cortex. This region of the brain manages, “planning, prioritizing, and controlling impulses,” and does not complete full maturity until the mid to late 20’s. This isn’t to say that children are incapable of being good people. No, this instead scientifically proves that making ill informed decisions is a part of life! One that will keep happening well beyond the Christmas season, and beyond your impactful decision to revoke Christmas presents.
The Spirit of Christmas Presents
Gifts are a form of showing people that you care for them and, I believe, children should be shown love regardless of their mistakes. For you have forgiven yourself for not being perfect, so to should kids who’s brains are still maturing. However, just because you bought your child the Christmas present doesn’t mean you can’t remove it until they correct their behavior.
Children are owed leniency and love, but manipulation and disruption cannot be rewarded. It teaches them that they can get away with any kind of delinquent behavior. For me, the importance is balance. Christmas shouldn’t be seen as a dangling carrot to entice kids to be, “good,” but rather an expression on your part as the parent that they are loved. The balance here is, for example, buying your teenage son a gaming device and not allowing them to play until their grades are improved. This way, both points are validated. Yes son, I love and care enough about you to give you this present, but I also want you to do better in school. This shows that they can overcome their wrongdoing, instead of denying them Christmas presents completely. Your kids are human, not robots, after all.
The Power of Parenting
Parenting is a cruel and often unrewarding job. You bring new life into this world and, despite how hard you work, kids can still seem ungrateful for it. However, it is not the job of the parent to display conditional love. No, your child is one that you should love despite their flaws. So hold off on putting coal in your child’s stocking! They may not remember what little mistake they made to lead to such treatment, but they will remember the moment of not having anything on Christmas Day.
